Saturday, November 13, 2010

Snooki Takes the Cake

Monday's new Cake Boss episode opens with Buddy venturing to the Seaport Museum on the South Street Port along the East River. The museum operators, Mary and Bill, want Buddy to make a cake honoring the 75th anniversary of the Normandie, a famous oceangoing passenger liner during the 1930s.

The two take Buddy on a tour. The museum features many artifacts rescued from the Normandie before it burned in 1942, and Buddy is impressed. "It was like the boat to be on if you were traveling across the Atlantic," he says.

Buddy sees the ship's steering wheel and instantly he has the centerpiece of his cake design.

?"I want this big giant wheel coming out the top of the cake," he says.

So the gang gets to work on the boat cake, made out of vanilla, chocolate mousse and French raspberries.? Buddy explains that it will be round and multi-tiered, and will be adorned with tapestries, artwork, roping and other nautical themes inspired by the ship. He even wants to find room to represent "the little French butler guys."

While this is going on, Buddy mentions that he's expecting "a real interesting client:" Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi from the MTV reality show The Jersey Shore. The term client, in fact, might actually be the most respectable description anyone has ever given about her.

Snooki sits down, wearing a low-cut top and a trucker hat featuring a white bird eating what looks like an apple off a tree. Just then Anthony—poor, lovelorn Anthony—comes around the corner and introduces himself.

Anthony says to Snooki, "my little cousin and I have a bet going. He thinks that you would choose him over me."

"He's probably right," she nods. The cousin is like 12.

Snooki gives Anthony the look-over and asks, do you go tanning?

Anthony says no, and Snooki says she can tell, advising him to go tanning. A surprisingly nimble flirt, Anthony quickly retorts, "maybe you can take me," and Snooki says, "yeah, we'll do GTL." But Anthony doesn't know what that means (going to the gym, tanning salon and laundry every day). Gotta stalk, or at least do some research on the girl first, pal. Snooki explains the acronym while giving Anthony a look like he broke a bottle and spilled good Stoli all over the floor.

Just as Anthony is asking Snooki what she does on the weekends (she goes out, she says) Buddy walks in and chases poor Anthony away.

So now Snooki meets Buddy. Not since Edison phoned Woodrow Wilson have the two most important New Jersey icons collaborated like this.

She wants to make a cake to celebrate her ma. Buddy asks about her, and Snooki says the two are nothing alike, so we take that to mean Mama Snooki is usually sober. With that theme in mind, Snooki wants a cake with two halves that will represent both of them. So gardening on one side, and guido on the other.

"Have you heard of my poof?" she asks. Buddy is reluctant to answer, as this is a family show.

Snooki explains that the poof is her signature hairstyle, and Buddy understands. He says that not only did he go to the Shore and dance clubs when he was Snooki's age, but that he and his friends probably invented the fist pump.

Snooki says that Buddy should party with her and her friends, but Buddy says with the kids those days are over. But he puts in a good word for Anthony.

"He's pale," Snooki says. Man, that guy can't catch a break.

She leaves, and we then see Buddy working on a cake for her that includes cherries, custard and whipped cream.

Then, after a transition, we see Buddy stuck on how to make the wheel for the Normandie cake. He's shaping some delicious PVC pipe, but it's not enough.

"This is a big boat, we need a big wheel," he exclaims. Buddy is aggravated.

Eventually with the help of Danny they get the right size. They cover it in modeling chocolate and add details. It looks just like an old fashioned steering wheel.

Meanwhile, Buddy has his sculptors work on tanned, muscular male dolls - gorillas, for the Snooki cake. The dolls are shirtless and have obscenely disproportionate-sized nipples. Buddy comes over and teaches the sculptors how to fist pump, while techno music plays in the background. They can't do it, which is disappointing since fist-pumping sounds self-explanatory.

Buddy walks away saying, "make sure you do Snooki and her Moms good."

Danny covers the cake with white fondant, while Buddy begins the coloring and attaches flowers.

Rob, the sculptor, is working on the Snooki cake. The most important thing about her, Buddy explains, is her poof. We don't know if he's talking about the cake Snooki or the real one. Either way, Rob is having trouble.

Alongside of this, Buddy gathers the team for the last stages of the Normandie cake. Lindsey is tasked with working on those little French butler guys.

Rob, who works in a bakery but for some reason is dressed like a stockbroker, gets a primer on poofs and is ready to get back to doing Snooki good.

Buddy adds the art pieces on the Normandie cake, including the little French butlers. When it's all done, Buddy steps back and salutes the cake.

Buddy and Anthony deliver the cake to the museum and are welcomed by a cheering crowd. Wonderful and amazing, Bill and Mary say. Mary notices the bellmen: the little French butler guys.

The wheel turns, while Buddy asks the happy crowd, "who wants to eat some cake?"

Later, Anthony asks Buddy what he thinks of his look, and Buddy makes fun of him. But Buddy arranges a makeover for Anthony with the girls. "He needs some color," they say.

As Buddy is showing the crew the finished Snooki cake, Anthony returns with slicked back hair, a black wifebeater (good muscle on that guy) and an Italian flag belt buckle. Danny tells him the flag is upside down.

Buddy looks him over and says "Maybe Snooki will like you."

Buddy delivers the cake (and Anthony) to Snooki. Snooki, her Mom and guests love the cake. Snooki says her favorite part is the gorillas. Then Buddy calls over Anthony.

Snooki, impressed, says she's proud of Anthony for changing his look. "But you still gotta hit the tanning bed," she says.

Buddy begins serving cake, while the credits roll. "She did a really good thing for her Mom," he says of Snooki. "And for me that's what it's all about: familigia."

And for some us, poofs.

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